one two three fourrrrnication!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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