I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
