everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
