Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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