Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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