I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
