woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
farters have to be the big spoon...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
