I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
