im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize