i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
