So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
