What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
