Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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