I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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