So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
