I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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