Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
