Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
