Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
two words: eviction party
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
