if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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