Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
