You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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