I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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