Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
