her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
