That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
two words: eviction party
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
