Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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