Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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