i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
