I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
