what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
These tits shall not be calmed
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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