It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
"it" just moved
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
