And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
