I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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