soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
