I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
