This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
