WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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