Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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