I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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