I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Farmville is her only friend.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Someone came in the potted fern
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
