Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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