some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
