I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
