you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
