i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize