Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
