dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
