It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
