yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
