I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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