dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just found puke in my bra..
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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