I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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