We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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