return my video game
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
