VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
